Beach Umbrellas 101

Exam Question

The purpose of a beach umbrella is:

A. To protect you from the sun and create shade

2. To scare away seagulls and small children

3. To impale unruly beach patrons

The answer is A. 

Scituate has some magnificent beaches.  For the most part I have found that the people who frequent our beaches know proper beach etiquette.  However, there is always that family or individual that does not know how to properly use a beach umbrella and acts surprised as their umbrella flies through the air like a metal javelin targeting small children who are busy building sandcastles or are running from their mothers who are trying to apply sun tan lotion to them.  These death spears if not properly anchored will seriously injure someone….and it won’t be a pretty sight.

The Inuit used similar constructed devices to kill whales.  It works. That doesn’t mean you should create a toggle head harpoon out of your beach umbrella.  Plus it is illegal to harpoon whales as well as beach patrons.   If you think it is ok not to use an anchor to secure your umbrella and think just a little ant hill pile of sand will work to secure your cheap Christmas Tree Shop umbrella that you got in the two dollar bin at the end of last season I promise you it won’t.  No matter how many times you replant it, your umbrella will fly out of the sand and has the potential to hurt someone.  I don’t know about you but I don’t want to get harpooned by a flying mental rusty stake as I am taking in some rays while reading my trashy romance novel.   Beach anchors are the solution to prevent beach umbrellas turning into murder weapons.  If you don’t have an anchor either go buy one or don’t use your umbrella.  Whether it is a small child, Biff and Buffy, the college kids who work their evenings at T.K’s or the Old Salt everyone deserves a safe day at the beach.   Here is a video that will help you maximize the use of your umbrella and at the same time keep the beach a safe place.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQXp8Cf1Akc

 Another helpful tip is to angle the umbrella into the wind and it will be les likely to blow away.  Also get a metal anchor, don’t cheap out and get the plastic ones. The metal anchors will last you a lifetime.    They plastic don’t work.  I have to run, another beach umbrella is flying through the air.